DI-What?

I have a love/hate relationship with DIY sites. I could spend hours upon hours browsing through these "simple and easy" ideas to improve my casa. I get all excited and print pages and start to ride the high of finding a new craft with which to waste my time and make my home gorg. 
And then I start to read how they did it.....
Don't let the girly, floral site background throw you off. All of these women (not to gender specify, I've just only seen them as women) forget to mention in their "so simple" DIY post is that they have husbands or fathers* (again, just what I've seen. You female handy people have all my support and admiration) who are carpenters, or retired handymen, or just really good at building things, at their disposal and doing all the work. Let alone the fact that someone of my stature (5'3" on a "big hair" day) can't even carry the materials out of the hardware store without seeing my life flash before my eyes as I awkwardly stumble down the aisles (2x4s and sheets of plywood, are you kidding?). And even beyond materials and someone else actually doing all the work, I still read on to see the process they used (I'm smart, maybe I can do it on my own... (the answer to that is always no, I can't)) and the tools.... The tools! How does an "easy" DIY project ever involve a table saw or a jig saw (jigger? jiggity?). I'm sorry adorable blogger, I must have lost my table saw in the move and Ty Pennington isn't returning my calls. All I have at my disposal is a set of slightly dull kitchen knives and whatever the previous homeowner left for me (no table saw, I checked). Suddenly a perfect weekend project has me questioning my whole world and sadly pessimistic about anything DIY. 


So, what I'm left with is thousands (ok, less than 10) of adorable wreaths and beautiful artwork, and shelves that sit on the floor because I'm afraid and incapable of securing them to the wall (how do I find a stud? what if it rips out of the plaster? So many questions! So I only adhere things to my walls with 3M adhesive strips). And I will continue to wander through the lumber aisles of Lowes and Menards, staring longingly at the crown molding until someone asks me if I am lost.

On an unrelated note, yes, that is a Lifetime original Movie playing on the TV... don't judge!

*Now, I too have a father who is really good at building things, but he happens to live 6 hours away and has a life that doesn't lend itself to "Dad, I found this really cool idea and I want you to build right now so drive on up!" (whatever happened to unconditional love...). This is my cry for help... Daddy I need you!

So now I'm off to read another 50 pages of Neuropsychology Assessment, with which I also have a love/hate relationship... minus the love.